Is truth a defence for the writer and is a reference to inclusion now mandatory?

Is truth a defence for the writer?

I don’t mean – is truth a defence for defamation? It is, in the UK at least.

I don’t mean- if you stray the wrong side of the line are you going to be the victim of tarring and feathering along the line of Raynor Winn’s The Salt Path.

What I mean is – if you are writing from life, is truth a defence to offence? And what is now mandatory for any book?

I recently published an illustrated children’s book Lavender Pots. I write memoir and this is no exception, even if it is a children’s illustrated book – it is based on actual events which happened in real life. Here is the story:

Back in the mid 2000s I was a single mum with two toddlers. I went away for the weekend to stay with another mum (whose husband worked abroad) for my birthday. Before doing so I bought a tray of lavender pots which I flung onto the rocking chair in my haste to leave. At my friend’s house the children played together before a midnight feast while we drank ‘grape juice’. After breakfast birthday pancakes we drove home, I collapsed into the rocking chair only to find that an escaped slug was on the TV remote control. I called for my little son to come to the rescue, the slug was removed outside and a home of petals constructed which s/he/they (not sure of the slug’s preferred pronouns) then ate.

As minority groups go, single mums don’t get much of a look in. (Neither do slugs.) To my mind one of the strengths of this book was that a single mum would identify with the difficulty of coping alone and bringing up boys without a man to role model. (Not necessarily modelling gender norm behaviour, but just decent, kind behaviour)

And creepy crawlies would benefit from being represented as just as scared of us giants as we are of them.

Now I have had some lovely reviews for which I am very grateful:

‘An enchanting and funny little story that will delight young children and families alike…’

‘It’s gorgeous! So charming and lovely. Ticks all the boxes’

‘ADORABLE book!’

‘…heartwarming and funny story. Pia’s writing is warm, like buttered toast or sitting together with the family in front of the fire.’

‘Wonderful book that your family will love’

‘heartwarming and charming picture book that effectively teaches children about overcoming fears…sweet and relatable’

You get the vibe. I’ve also had some observations which make fair points and unfair points. (One being held to account for not having the wonderful illustrator credited on the front cover- which I wanted but was thwarted by the publishers who said it was not technically possible and after a few back and forths insisting I was forced to concede)

But one lady reviewer on Netgalley (I’ve since googled Netgalley and they have a reputation for harsh reviews) went full wokerati at the boys dressing up and playing with swords, the girls as princesses. She says

‘I do not care for the ways the text reinforces gender norms. .. I don’t think there is anything wrong with boys enjoying stereotypically boy things and girls enjoying stereotypically girl things but I hate seeing it as the only option in 2025…having the illustrator be one whose style harkens back to the picture books of previous decades makes sense… as this text belongs in previous decades’

I think she speaks with a forked tongue and very definitely thinks there is something wrong with text and images ‘reinforcing’ gender norms although I think reinforce is strong, the book ‘represents’ it doesn’t ‘reinforce’. All of the children are playing with the swords, both boys and girls, and both boys and girls are depicted with cuddly toys.

This is the offending image and text:

She lost the plot at this page which was intended as a joke to any single mums reading it:

So, to my two questions, firstly is truth a defence? This is a kind loving book with children being represented as they are in real life. They were turned out to play, they did what they wanted to do which was to raid the dressing up box, dress the dog up as a dragon and themselves as (fully armed) knights and princesses. No one instructed them what to wear, or who should have swords. If they had swopped gender roles that would have been fine but they followed gender norms. One gender norm being that boys and girls can equally seize and play with swords should they wish. They did what was and is normal.

If I google the meaning of ‘normal’ it is defined as ‘physically and mentally healthy.’ It should be possible to write a book which depicts normal, that is physically and mentally healthy behaviour, without being slated for it. That is not to say that books cannot and should not deviate from ‘gender norms’ and include minorities but is it mandatory that all books must include these issues whatever the circumstances or story- or else?

As it is Lavender Pots is one of the few books on the market which champions a little celebrated minority - struggling single mums. The book depicts a single mum surviving and instinctively giving her son, the baby of the family, the chance to find courage whilst learning to protect small frightened creatures and his family. Aren’t we supposed to teach our children- whether boys or not- to look after their siblings, mother and treat little creatures with kindness?

It’s based on a real life, has messages of love, kindness and survival- of mum, kiddies and Sluggy. It has no political agenda and follows gender norms.

So, is truth a defence or should all stories based on real life, memoir or children’s books, be written to appease a political agenda whether or not that departs from reality, or normality ie physically and mentally healthy behaviour?

Am I alone in seeing no harm in following gender norms and who thinks either way truth (and reality) are always a defence to offence?

Meanwhile for those made of sterner stuff, if you are looking for a stocking filler that sticks to gender norms and reality without any political message; a book to read aloud whilst cuddling up little ones, and inviting them to be kind to creepy crawlies and invertebrates please do consider Lavender Pots, available from any good book stores or online from this website.

https://troubador.co.uk/bookshop/picture-books/lavender-pots